There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
