So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
there was a trapeze. enough said
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
