So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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