a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
