so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
