shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
