Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
