My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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