either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
