You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
