Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
