Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
