I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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