would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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