Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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