its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Drunk walkin through police station. America
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
