She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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