this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
