There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
