Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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