It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
