No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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