I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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