Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
FUCK WHALES
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
