I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
