i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize
