You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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