He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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