Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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