he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
