This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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