if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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