Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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