I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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