I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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