wakey wakey hands off snakey
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
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he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
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She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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