I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
two words...techno handjob
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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