Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
