And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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