i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
