apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
