I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
