Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
