we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
