He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
