we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
