he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You made out with two different species that night
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
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