will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
