I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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