all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
