hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
