dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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