and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
