She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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