just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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