Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
