I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
