At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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