im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
