I swear she didn't look like that last week.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
