Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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