Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
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