...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
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he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
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Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
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