Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
