my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
