So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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