Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
